Thursday

I am, at the moment, eating macaroni and cheese and crying. Its been one of those weeks. Like, do you ever feel like all of your childhood friends are getting married while you are getting used for sex, over and over? Do you ever come home from counseling to find your mother still in her slip, talking maniacally on the phone, while you yourself are trying to resolve not to give her all your school money, and/or yell at her to get a fucking job already? Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a life, a certain kind of life, while other people are not? I mean, what kind of a guy talks to you every day for a month, and then as soon as you sleep with him is never to be heard from again?
Okay, enough with the complaints. At least I'm taking baby steps. At least I did talk to this guy for that long. At least he doesn't have a girlfriend. Other than those two small, almost fetus-like steps, that situation completely blows.
And its my own fault for not being able to deal with this house. My mom can take the heat. She can take it. I can give it to her. I'm just mad at my mom. Big Fucking Deal. I'm just having an emotion. I can handle that.
The weird, sporadic-breathing-sobbing thing felt pretty good, though. And its been a while since I've had some mac and cheese. It kind of makes you want to puke when you take huge bites without swallowing. Just FYI.
AND I have successfully not drunk the tall boy I found in my car.