capacity for cruelty, sadness disdain
react with ever-cheerful light-handedness
to a sanitized equilibrium
where you explode and i cry
it has me wondering
my emotional composition
i am boring pedantic
but worstly cruelly unable to feign forgiveness or gratitude
all this scared me to pushing your face to the ground
pushing you to it

everynight I want to ask you
everynight
how exactly you could do that to me.
so that's the end of that
and i met myself here.

always stuck in between
fear and freedom
your good hugs and my life at the restaurant
i see how they made it all those years
smiles and dances with employees and bedfellows
condescension and sighs at the dinner table

cut a key from those lighthearted appearances
to open my growth point and escape my intimacy
cracking codes to daily conversation
i'm always figuring everyone out until i
don't want them anymore

i could find someone to let me touch them for awhile
if i could get away from you for one second
if i could move all my shit just one mile
if i could get away from the white t-shirt over your chest
the look on your face and the beer on your breath

tell yourself all you want
that your whiskey drinks will work it out for ya
and i'll tell myself
that there's nothing that the road cannot heal