Things in my fantastically possible future:
1)General Ecology
2)Dendrology with Dr. Gentry
3) Being an outstanding dendrology student with said doctor; being an outstanding volunteer at the herbarium with said Dr. , and eventually weasling my way into the graduate program here with Dr.
4) That is all the inspiration I need to go and study Microbiology right now :)

I don't like to think about my mother. I don't like to think about her eventual death; I don't like to think about the fact that I am the only one she can ask to buy her a vacuum. I don't like that she asks me if I am okay with buying my sister's prom dress. I don't like the fact that she can't get her life together. I don't like to think of the fact that she needs her meds. I don't like to think of how unhappy she is with herself, of her mental state. Her mental state is what bothers me most, along with images of her becoming more and more ill, more and more helpless. I can't think of the fact that she can't have things that she wants: that she can never, ever grow up. That she has been stripped of some innate ability. That some dealbreaker, some guarantee has been withdrawn from the contract of her living. That she was given a whole life and no tools, crying babies in lush forests, manic men with sinister hearing.