he wants me back. and that is not what I want.

its not just a matter of me. How can I go on with my pretentious wants- I want to get drunk and fool around with Aubrey Bonowitz, I want to have friends, I want to be single, I want to do stupid childish things - when he is there, and all he wants is me? How can I go on, carefree and somewhat lonesome, when he is there, crying on the floor and guilt-tripping me with the fact that he is going to drop out of university because I broke up with him? I can't. Its just too hard. I tried to be nice, I tried to just cut it off when I realized it was bad and not draw it out, fight-picking and bitching for three months till I felt like I had provoked him to a point of justification.
The problem is he is so manipulative and he doesn't know it. We are all manipulative, but he is bad. His whole adventurous future is standing on my shoulders, and I have to act like I want him bad enough to put up with it until he is stable, has his own friends, is going to counseling, is somewhat independent.
I doubt that will ever happen though. I don't think the nature of our relationship allows him those things. I think it is just me and him, and thats all he wants. Why else would he run away when we are supposed to play racquetball with other people? Why else would he refuse to go out, refuse to see anyone at all?